Yearly Archives: 2008

Caption Contest #12

My nephew Michael, I discovered, can juggle while balancing on a basketball. I saw it myself this Xmas in Louisiana.

The juggling skills skipped my generation or something.

Bad juggler

As always, come up with a caption for this picture.

Notes from the front pew

I went to church a couple of months ago, and I didn’t burst into flames or anything like that, contrary to my expectations.

I was born and raised Catholic, and went to Catholic grade school and high school, but I’m not a practicing Catholic. I’m about as Catholic as Martin Luther.

My mom and dad came into town and I thought they might want to go to church on a Sunday, being Catholics in the non-nominal, actual practical practicing way.

“I’m touched that you’d take us to church,” my mom said. “I’m shocked,” my dad said. “I mean, I’m not . . .

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I’m not going to actually TASTE this stuff, but you need to know

about wine made out of — tent caterpillars.   A guy in Northland, MN, makes it, and it actually tastes pretty decent, reviewers said.  An excerpt from http://www.walterreeves.com/insects_animals/article.phtml?cat=21&id=469:

In a blind taste test — the reviewers were not informed what ingredients went into it before the tasting –

four local wine connoisseurs invited to taste the wine described it as dry, pale and crisp. They compared it to a pinot grigio or white bordeaux.

The comparison came before they were told exactly what went into the wine. Afterward, they joked that it was the best insect wine they’ve ever tasted. It’s . . .

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Work Parsing Contest #1

There is much to be said for grammatical parsings. Since 12 Apostrophes is full of PhD and MFA types in all things english, I thought I would whet you appetite with a relatively simple one from my place of employment:

Please schedule the committee meeting the month prior to the second monthly board meeting after quarter end.

Nice. One sentence reads half high-school algebra problem, half Orwellian mind transplant. But if you thought that was impressive, let’s move to a graduated example:

Remember that due to 2009 Open Enrollment completing at weeks end for medical and dental insurance and . . .

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