Author Archives: duodecad

Formed

I’ve been dealing with an organization at work for over two weeks now. This Shall-Remain-Anonymous organization has information about my organization on their Web site. I have been asked by my boss’ boss to update the information because the information is inaccurate.

Thus began the fun. Upon going to the organization’s Web site, I was delighted to learn that I wasn’t the first person to want this kind of information changed. In fact, there was a giant flashing button on their Web site that says: “Update Your Nonprofit’s Information.” Wow, a flashing button? This is gonna be the easiest part . . .

Continue Reading »

The Unviewed Review: Harry Potter and Half a Blood Prince

On July 15, everyone’s favorite youthful necromancer this side of Mickey’s Apprentice, returns for another enchanting installment. The hilarity begins when a wicked school marm, in league with the mighty Wormawort, who if you believe the bumper stickers is widely supported by Republicans, punishes Harry’s entire class for turning the chalkboard eraser into a toad.

In the previous 13 installments of this series, Harry has had to learn tough lessons on his way to otherworldly wizardry. Now, however, as we begin the next eighteen-part chapter of this long awaited series, Harry emerges as the ensorcelling hocus-poser we’ve all . . .

Continue Reading »

Pretzels, Party-tricks, and politics

This product got me thinking — is it even possible to come up with 5-10 food products less likely to be patriotized than pretzels?

****

This has got to be harder than hitting a 90 MPH fastball: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/22/forward-flip-basketball-s_n_218799.html

****

On more serious Minnesota political notes,

1) When does Al Franken get to be Senator already?

2) Why doesn’t anyone seem to care that Minnesota’s Governor is behaving like a King?

3) At least one piece of good news for Minnesota baseball fans — no increase in garbage burning coming from right field…http://www.startribune.com/local/west/48815442.html?elr=KArksLckD8EQDUoaEyqyP4O:DW3ckUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUUX

Work Parsing Contest #1

There is much to be said for grammatical parsings. Since 12 Apostrophes is full of PhD and MFA types in all things english, I thought I would whet you appetite with a relatively simple one from my place of employment:

Please schedule the committee meeting the month prior to the second monthly board meeting after quarter end.

Nice. One sentence reads half high-school algebra problem, half Orwellian mind transplant. But if you thought that was impressive, let’s move to a graduated example:

Remember that due to 2009 Open Enrollment completing at weeks end for medical and dental insurance and . . .

Continue Reading »