I’m blogging from Kris and Pulao’s house. It’s the middle of an insane party. All the 12apostrophes bloggers are here. (Apparently the India crowd’s plane was delayed). Things started out tame but it’s getting more interesting. Last I looked, people are in the living room doing gigantic whiskey bongs. Michael is in charge of that. In the red room, people are fighting over the Wii. I gave up because I can’t return a serve or putt. Since I left, the paint on the wall was chipped, at least one person drew blood, and Daniel fell in love.

Let’s see what’s happening in the kitchen… Wow, I really wish the India crowd were here. It’s out of control, and yet, it all feels right. Matt’s arm wrestling for a Netflix certificate. Duodecad is break dancing. Pulao has taken off her shirt and Kris is threatening to take off his pants. The night is still young.

Some of you may already have seen the YouTube video documenting American intellectual prowess, but in case not, it’s worth a view. Watch it and decide if it’s depressing or hilarious….

It’s called Americans Are Not Stupid, with Subtitles. It’s a few minutes long.

This reminds me of a funny story. Or a depressing story. Definitely a related story. Yesterday a member of my family sent a petition to other members of my family (not me). The petition was one of those bogus right-wing scare tactic petitions talking about how the bad “illegals” are trying to steal good, patriotic Americans’ jobs and social security and so on. The petition also claimed Congress recently passed a bill allowing “illegals” to have social security benefits. A false rumor that’s well-worn. The e-mail’s even in Snopes.

Anyway, the petition demands that only U.S. CITIZENS be allowed social security benefits, or any social services. My relative who sent it was born in the United States. Her husband (my brother) and parents-in-law (my parents) were not. They’re all legal residents (who’ve long paid social security taxes), but not citizens. So my relative SIGNED MY BROTHER’S NAME to a petition that demands he lose his social security benefits. Brilliant. Then she forwarded it to his non-citizen parents, suggesting they sign it too. Double brilliant.

I asked her about this later and she told me she forgot that we (including her husband) are all “aliens.” She then pointed out that either way, the petition is how a lot of people feel. Then she said not to worry because no one is referring to us. Apparently, she doesn’t understand what the word “citizen” means.

The upside to this…. Well, ok, there isn’t an upside to this. But in my fantasy resolution, my relative is disqualified from voting. That’s because to become a citizen and voter, you have to take a basic citizenship test and have half a brain. And I figure if you’re an English speaker with half a brain, you know what the word “citizen” means. That’s what you’re taking a test for! So in my fantasy, she fails the test, I make an uncitizen’s arrest, and the feds consider Guantanamo.

Ok, silly fantasy and bad to make jokes about Guantanamo, one of the more depraved entities in modern U.S. history. And of course, if I believe in equal rights for all, I have to allow room for dumb people. This does, however, bring me back to the above video. My relative belongs in it.

Do some of you have relatives who belong in it?

My latest craze is Conquer Club, an online turns-based game improving on the Risk board game. I understand all the theoretical problems with taking a subject like war and trivializing it with game play. But to me, with all the various boards in this new game that aren’t even map based (the chinese checkers board, the crossword board, the university campus), the game takes on more a game of strategy like Chess or Backgammon and less a trivialization of war.

And how can something this fun (and free) be intellectually dishonest to play? Not to mention the sideline banter: I was in a game recently where conversation between players turned from comic books to quoting King Lear to debt relief roadblocks as a result of the Iraq war to jockstraps. And these weren’t even the players I knew. 

Maybe Kris will share his drawing for a game board that he and I thought up. But for that to make sense, I guess you have to give this game a try first at: www.conquerclub.com. If you see yammers1 out there, beware, he is a keen strategist, held back only by a vague twinge of enjoying himself too much.

Because Michael Douglas.  And Glenn Close’s perm.

Florida Gators — National Champions! Even disinterested alumnus should give a loud hooray…plus, wouldn’t it have been fun to have been in Gainesville last night when that football-crazed town won this game. I’m imagining it would be a social experiment gone awry: 50% terrifying, 25% sickening, and 25% can’t look away from the car-accident happening type of excitement…

Sometimes people who design buildings, furniture, cars etc. are surprised by some of the unforeseen design flaws. We, for instance, recently had to purchase a new metal bed-frame because the free one that came with the new bed we bought made this sporadic clicking noise all throughout the night. I don’t know what put me more on edge, the clicking noise — or waiting for the next cadre of clicks to start-up.

Still, I understand that sometimes someone overlooks things when creating something. And that makes sense. But perhaps the least forgivable design flaw that I’ve seen or heard about recently was reported in the NY Times today: seats on the M.T.A. trains in New York regularly rip people’s clothes.

In fact, the M.T.A. has paid out over $100,000 in ripped pant/skirt reparations. Now, I’m no design expert, and sure we can understand the designer who puts the car radio knob out of reach of the driver or something, but shouldn’t the first thing you be thinking when you design a seat be: will this harm the person sitting in it and/or destroy all their clothing?

I hope everyone who can vote is voting today. And I hope you vote for the good guys. I’m swinging wildly between optimism and pessimism from minute to minute, to the point that I may soon need a hamburger / some drugs to calm me down. Time to go to Burger King.

• U.S. Cops Sue Over Drug-Spiked Burgers

Meanwhile, here’s a good news / bad news round-up for election day:

• Republicans closing gap as U.S. votes.” 
• Democrats concerned about races they thought they had in the bag.”
• In better news from Virginia, Jim Webb supposedly surged ahead of thuggy George Allen in the final polls. 
• In the sad-to-admit-it department, Joe Lieberman continued to have a solid lead over Democrat candidate Lamont. Can someone tell me what’s wrong with Connecticut?
• A conservative news site says the Dems will take it all and win both houses. That said, the same site has a lot of headlines talking about a Republican surge in the final hours of polling yesterday. But how do you define a surge? And who gets to define it?
• The Hill, a Congressional journal, published a variety of predictions from the political establishment. Overall it still looks good for Dems.

And finally, I liked this take from Toronto Star, detailing what a possible Dem win would look like, and how it might impact Canada. One thing I liked about this article is that the writer acknowledged what so few in the U.S. establishment see, but what’s been clear for a long time to much of the rest of the world: the current roster of U.S. Dems are so moderate that they’re right of center. In Canada, they’d be in the Conservative party. When I reflect on that, I’m reminded how far right the U.S. has gone in recent years.

Which brings me back to wildly jumping between optimism and pessimism today. Here’s to the political pendulum swinging—ever so slightly—in a better direction. Pretty please?

First off, “commerations” to Pulao on a prelim turn-in!

Secondly, in the upcoming elections, all the winds seem to be blowing in the right correct direction. And I must say, I’m hoping to have a big celebration on election night, but three things caught my eye today. None of these stories suggest that opinion in this country is changing, but it does remind me that it takes more than opinion to win in electoral politics.

It first takes a transparent and clear system for voting. And with the NY Times analysis of voting maching troubles that don’t even have anything to do with the potential ease of tampering, I’m mighty nervous about where we’re headed.

It is also important to remember that in the midst of all this good pre-election news, the GOP is a well-oiled machine. It works on many levels, from the big-moneyed pioneers, the lock-stock messaging of the conservative media members, the massive get out the vote campaigns, and the less-than-level Swift Boat type organizations. Nothing reminded me of that more than this story out of California. US citizens who immigrated to the US long ago have been warned in a series of mailings that if they vote they will be deported. These have been traced back to a GOP operative in California.

So while an increasingly unpopular war drags down the popularity of the GOP and scandal seems to pop up every day: bribery, extortion, sexual misconduct, voter suppression, abuse of power etc. we should all still be worried about machines: GOP, voting and otherwise.

Last point from the news today. Studies that tell you things you already knew to be obvious are in my estimation a recent phenomenon. So, for instance, the idea that, yes indeed, an antiaging hormone, marketed as being able to cease and even reverse the results of aging is a bunch of bunk.

Studies also show the pills claiming to make you fly, breathe underwater, and leap tall buildings don’t seem to work as advertised either. But in some way, we as a society do seem to need studies to prove things we already know to be a little suspect. And even with such studies, people will dismiss them and go on buying this hormone. The power to believe just about anything is one of humanity’s greatest achievements. Seriously.

And speaking of believing just about anything, with things going so well right now in the polls for the Dems, I’ll have a hard time believing it if things don’t go well for the Dems on election day, but I doubt most people will. There will be a convenient narrative for whatever happens on election day. There has to be so that the system can retain legitimacy.

And unfortunately, if things go poorly, there will never be a headline some time later that reads: “Study shows that election results in ‘06 didn’t reflect public’s voting intent.” And even if there was, we’ll all go on believing what we want to believe.

Uggghhh. What a disaster. GOP slime everywhere in the friendly confines of my hometown. The only good thing about this is that it will finally signal the end of a dark eight years. 

The New York Review of Books had a long review of Cheney’s life and history. It is really depressing. His entire life has led up to this moment: stripping power from everyone not in the executive office, starting needless wars because it fits his ancient cold war mentality, marking dissent from extremist policies as traitorous. It all extends from his living in Madison (yes, Mad-town again) during the Vietnam-era revolts against abusive power, and his disgust at it. He is quoted as saying something to the effect that he was the only person who wore a suit around town at the time. And somehow that is where his world view extends. Anyone who doesn’t agree with him is just another non-suit wearing Madisonian hippie. A very long way of saying the only thing I will be celebrating having legions of mindless, flag-waving idiots descending on this town, is that Cheney’s reign will soon be over.

Which I suppose is all to say this to fellow Twin Citians (apologies to those outside the metro): September 1-4, 2008 — time to plan that extended vacation to Canada or time to polish off the old protest signs? Will friendly old St. Paul become a military-style town a la Miami or New York? Probably so, and I’m not sure I could bare to see it.

This has been making the email rounds here, but I think it’s time for it to break into the international scene.

A Kannada movie clip from the 70s (I think- there’s not much to be sure about)

What can I say? I was going to offer up some analysis, but instead I’ll just post the link. Please watch it with audio.

Musical Goodness