Homework

As you might know from reading this blog, my office building shut down and the three employees left in Minneapolis started working from home. That includes me, thank God. I have now worked from home for a full week, or as some say, been living the dream.

Let me tell you, cubicle-bound lackeys, if you’re wildly envious, you should be. It’s awesome!

At home, I can now do anything I want. If I want to get up and do that laundry that’s piled up in my bedroom closet, I can. I haven’t availed myself of that particular opportunity just yet, but it’s just a matter of time.

I can sleep in a good 15 – 20 minutes in the morning, saving the time I used to spend getting dressed, brushing my teeth, shaving, walking to and riding the bus, showering, etc. In fact, I may never have to shower again, now that I work from home.

Now my cat can sleep on top of my work laptop, while I’m trying to type, just like he always wanted to.

When 5:00 rolls around, I’m already home! I just declare myself “off work” and walk to the other side of the room. Or roll over and go to sleep, if I’m still in bed at the end of the day.

I think in my parents’ generation “working from home” was a gentle euphemism for getting the sack. When I told my mom, she asked: “Does payroll know you’re working from home? Will you still get your check?” I thought I knew the answers, but I must admit, those questions roll around in my head around 3 a.m.

It would be a pretty slick way to “downsize”: “Guess what everybody? Mobile workforce! Everybody go home!” And then your employees work for a couple of weeks before they realize nobody’s paying them.

I’ll let you all and Mom know around next payday whether I’m working from home or “working from home.”

6 Responses to Homework

  1. Pulao says:

    I always thought that “working from home” was somewhat oxymoronic.

    There was this graduate assistant at the University of Florida (Kris or Duodecad will remind me of her name) who just stopped showing up to both the classes that she taught and the ones she was taking within her first semester. Wonder if she thought of herself as a “mobile educator.”

  2. dbay says:

    Sometimes you are a Dilbert cartoon in essay form.

    I’m serious when I say you should compile these into a book someday soon. Hey, something else you can do from home.

  3. Aakaash says:

    Sometimes the dream DOES match the reality!
    You, Kris, have always been my hero. Smoking? Never did it before Kris. Drinking? Kris made me realise that what I had been doing could only be sarcastically referred to as drinking. Kris taught me poker. Kris drove me to Wal-Mart to buy my first video game system.
    Now, he has achieved God status. I will emulate. But only after I have heard about those checks.

  4. Anirban says:

    This is the worst “showing up to work on Saturday in order to meet a deadline” read ever!
    You guys hiring? If you’re gonna work from home…through email and messenger…it doesn’t quite matter which country you live in….and that my friends…is how outsourcing to India came about…

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