Monthly Archives: January 2008

Chilblaines aren’t cool

It’s been five years I’ve lived in Minneapolis, and about time I froze my ass off (or some other body part).

When I typed this last Wednesday night, it was 9 below zero outside. 9 below zero? Big deal, you say, if you are one of the one 12apostrophes reader/contributers who lives in Finland, or are someone’s grandparent, and have reached the age of scoffing hyperbole (“9 below? We used to walk to school when it was 9 below, on our hands. With paper bags for mittens. And we were grateful.”).

OK, 9 below zero, big deal — but with . . .

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The Princess and the rice

When something’s on sale at the grocery store, it’s old. Expired. The opposite of fresh. That’s why it’s on sale. Check it out next time. Ribeye for 3.99 a pound? That’s last week’s ribeye. Look at it closely. A little grey, isn’t it? Best if sold by yesterday? Let me tell you, you gotta pay attention to this stuff.

Before Christmas break, Pulao and I bought some sale rice. The first time we had it, Pulao said it tasted bad. “It’s a little bitter,” she said. Ha! I scoffed. It tasted fine to me. We ate it again. . . .

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To reply, or to REPLY ALL

Today, I got an e-mail from somebody needing technical help. It was like somebody changed my job description to IT Support and forgot to tell me, which is nothing out of the ordinary where I work.

Hi, I have a login with ‘Editor’ privileges but can’t import or view images in my groups folders. Please help. Cheers, X

I wasn’t the only one getting the wrong e-mail, proved by the next item in my inbox:

i’d like to know who setup this email address and told people to use this as a support contact.

Yeah, I thought. But what do . . .

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Stupid guy in a boat

In one of those motivational 37-way conference calls the other day, a big cheese told a story about two guys in a boat:

“A leak springs on a boat, and one guy thinks he’s OK, because he’s on the dry side — but they’re both going down. Just because we’re in good shape doesn’t mean we don’t have to circle the wagons.”

I have at least two things to say about this. First off, that guy on the dry side who thinks he’s OK is really stupid. I mean, how big is this boat? The story starts: “There are two . . .

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Get That Word Away From Me!

A few days ago, a friend of mine sent out an email with this year’s List of Banished Words, as deemed thus by the language lovers over at the Lake Superior State University. The premise, for those of you who haven’t come across it before, is simple: you know the word that gets used any which way and people throw them around like a gold coin in Scrooge McDuck’s vault and you go from noting that hey that’s not what that word actually means to wow that word sure does get thrown around to irritation at the . . .

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