I use the word “performance” loosely. I’ve seen soap opera stars that were more convincing. She could certainly star in her own reality TV show, though. I mean, it’s a perfect set-up. Like the scantily clad beach bunnies “surviving” in the jungles of Brazil, or the strangely attractive kids (each in a different but ultimately photogenic way) working, playing and living in “The Real World.” In fact, I think SP is starring in the wildly popular “Who Will Be America’s Next President?” She plays the plucky, wise-beyond-her-years newcomer, McSame plays the crotchety but soft-hearted Colonel, and Trig is the next Lion King (honestly, weren’t . . .