Think all the way back to college. Do you remember William Carlos Williams “note-I-left-on-the-refrigerator” poem?
This Is Just To Say
by William Carlos WilliamsI have eaten
the plums
that were in
the iceboxand which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold.
Pulao and I listened to a podcast of This American Life from three weeks ago, an episode called “Mistakes Were Made.” In it, among other things, are a few riffs on “This Is Just to Say” — which is, according to This American Life, one of the most spoofed poems around.
I want to do that, I said. I bet you do, too.
They key to spoofing “This Is Just to Say,” This American Life pointed out, is to not be sorry.
Come up with one and post it in the comments. I’ll go first:
I’m Just Saying . . .
by KrisIf you didn’t
want me
to eat all
the cupcakeswhy would
you leave them in the fridge?
Don’t tell me
you were
saving them for breakfast.Nobody
would eat cupcakes for breakfast —
too sweet
and I ate them already.
9 Responses to I’m Just Saying . . .
I have no spoof, currently; I just need to say that that was BRILLIANT.
When I was in high school, I was searching online for information related to our end-of-year physics project. It was early days for the web, so almost all the pages were text only. One page had disappeared, leaving in its place something akin to the following:
I have eaten
the web page
that was on
this server
and which you were
probably
hoping
to access
Forgive me
It was delicious
I ate it
in one byte.
I guess it was clever, but I really needed to access that damn page.
remember the Literary Cafe? and William Carlos Waffles?
I remember the Literary Cafe! Especially “The Sound and the Curry”.
And here’s mine:
I’m Just Saying…
When I see
chocolates
sitting in
the fridge
for days and
days
I think I can
eat them
Forgive me
for not reading your mind
and knowing
they were for your mother
Yeah, it was me
Who hijacked the boyfriend
you had unaccountably left
by the roadside [He cooks!]
the night before
trash day.
A few miles on him, but mostly
still in excellent shape. In fact
the best I’ve ever tasted.
Some marvelous things
improve with age.
Ah, forgive me, reader,
for I married him
sixteen years ago
He is still delicious
so sweet
and so hot
This is just to say…
I have eaten
the left-over clams
that were in the
refrigerator
And which
you had probably
forgotten
but wondered for weeks
about the smell
Pity me,
I was hungry
and they were there
so call 911
This is just to say…
My brothers ate
the Doritos
that were on
the cupboard shelf.
Those you needed
to happily consume
that sandwich
for your work lunch.
Please forgive me,
after working on the house
I had to pay them
with your crunchy, spicy chips.
Every last one.
The victim responds:
Hey Asshole…
You have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
i was definitely
saving
for breakfast.
Fuck you.
That was malicious
so mean
and so cold.
[…] As comments to Kris’s excellent post on Williams Carlos Williams’s psych-out apology, a couple of people mentioned discussions of the literary cafe. […]