Netflix Failure #1: Imaginary Heroes

Because if we needed an Ordinary People for the new millennium, it wouldn’t be a pretentious indie that even Sigourney Weaver couldn’t save.

5 Responses to Netflix Failure #1: Imaginary Heroes

  1. Pulao says:

    I can’t believe that Imaginary Heroes is your Netflix Failure #1. Didn’t you netflix *Gigli*?

  2. Kris says:

    Damn, even Sigourney Weaver didn’t help?


    Sigourney Weaver makes everything better. Like cilantro. But for movies.

  3. Aakaash says:

    For a second I thought you meant Unstrung Heroes. And I was shocked. Because Kramer rocks!

    Movies with “hero” or “heroes” in their title are hit and miss. To wit:

    Hero – Very pretty, great action, strange message at the end. I am one of three people in the world who preferred the sweeping love triangle of “Flying Daggers” to the nationalistic politics of this one.

    Almost Heroes – I think this was Chris Farley’s last movie; he and Matthew Perry are like Lewis and Clark, or they’re racing against Lewis and Clark, or Lewis and Clark killed their mothers. Farley runs into things and falls off trees, and Matthew Perry does double takes and stammers.

    Local Hero – light jaunt of a movie about an American trying to buy a Scottish village for his oil company that’s better than it sounds thanks to a strong script and great performances.

    Accidental Hero – Dustin Hoffman saves people and is an asshole. He’s already an asshole before he saves anyone. Could have been great, instead it’s just ok.

    My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys – A better title than a movie. Scott Glenn rides a bull. I think.

    Two Crippled Heroes – I saw this when I was a kid. One kung-fu master has no arms, the other has no legs. They fight bad people. No idea how it actually is, but I remember the armless guy had knives in his back pocket that he grabbed with his toes and that was awesome!

    I went online to try and find out if I was right about that last one and I found that there is a movie called “5 Daredevil Kung-Fu Heroes”. That sounds all right, them being daredevils and all, but I bet they all have arms and legs…I’m not watching it unless they’re all blind and their other senses have been radioactively enhanced.

  4. Matt says:

    Aakaash–I take it the Hero you’re referring to is not the version with Dustin Hoffman and Geena Davis? That one could also be a Netflix failure.

    Gigli wasn’t a Netflix failure for the simple reason that I actually managed to watch it all the way to the end. Unlike, say, this movie.

    (Technically there should be a Netflix Failure #0.5, which would be whatever John Wayne movie it was that I gave up on after five minutes.)

  5. Aakaash says:

    Hero is it? I thought it was called Accidental Hero, or at least that’s what the Blockbuster VHS said back in ’96. That was the one and only time I saw it, could be a failure that I am being generous to in my memory.

    You know, it’s shame about Sigourney Weaver. She got nominated for Working Girl, but not for The Ice Storm. That woman just can’t catch a break. She should have been in Igby Goes Down, look at what that did for Claire Danes’ career…

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