Presidential Maroons

Last night, when you were tossing and turning in bed, trying to sleep, I bet you were thinking: “What would Senator John McCain bring with him if stranded on a desert island?”

The answer? “Books.” You’re getting those 40 winks tonight!

Check out these “Desert Island Necessities” from—presidential candidates’ answers to a question from the Associated Press: “what would you most like to have if you were stranded on a desert island?”

Some candidates went right for the loopholes, naturally: Gov. Bill Richardson answered, “a Blackberry and a Davidoff cigar.”

Good thinking, Bill, but cell phone towers are scarce on most of your run-of-the-mill desert islands. Mike Huckabee is way ahead of you: “Laptop with satellite reception.” Oh snap, Bill!

And the ultimate loophole? Republican Rep. Tom Tancredo’s answer—“Boat.” Well, you know, besides that, Tom.

Besides McCain’s answer of books, the second most popular response was some iteration of “My wife.” I think that’s great for the boys on the island, but some potential first ladies might prefer to stay on the mainland and pine for their husbands.

Barack Obama went one step further; “Other than my wife and kids . . .” he said. By God, if I have to be stranded on an island this whole family’s going to be marooned!

I love Democrat Chris Dodd who, thinking only of the moment, and perhaps having been asked first thing in the morning, said “Coffee with cream and sugar.”

And, finally, there’s Republican Sen. Sam Brownback, who gave the inscrutable answer of “Tarp.” He’s thinking it probably rains more on a desert island than people expect, or just loves tarps. All I know is that I’m not voting for him.

3 Responses to Presidential Maroons

  1. Phil says:

    Growing up in a small, conservative town, we often joked that the town flag should be a piece of blue tarp. It’s everywhere. On wood piles, on campers, and even substituting for an actual roof on a couple of houses.

    In other words, Sam is communicating to his base. Or the people he hopes will be his base. Whatever.

    And McCain’s book answer is proof that he has seen the movie ‘The Edge’ one to many times. I can just imagine him lying awake at night, fantasizing about killing a bear with a spear.

  2. Matt says:

    I think the real question is, what would they bring if they were ALL stranded on the SAME desert island? Maybe they could watch “The Condemned” for ideas.

  3. Pulao says:

    Hahahaha! People who may be in charge of global changes are silly!

    And yes, if you have the choice, leave your spouse unstranded on a desert island, because you know you’ll never hear the end of that, and there will be no escape.

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