The NRA Tackles the Nuclear Issue

There’s been a lot of talk about nuclear weapons in the news lately. That nuclear weapons are the problem. You know, I grew up around nuclear weapons, and not once have I ever seen a nuclear weapon arm itself, load its payload into a ballistic missile, and fire itself at an unsuspecting city.

It takes two people to turn the little keys around their necks in two locks at the same time, open the protective covering, and push that little red button.

If you’re a criminal, you don’t care about the nuclear weapons laws on the books. “Oh it’s illegal to buy nuclear weapons, I guess I’d better not then,” said no criminal, ever. When nuclear weapons are (more) criminalized, then only criminals will have nuclear weapons.

If crazy people want to kill people, they’ll find a way. How many people can you kill at once with a nuclear weapon? 20 million? There are plenty of conventional warfare methods with which you can kill that many people, easy, if you have a mind to. Are we going to outlaw Dasiy Cutter bombs next? Fuel-air bombs? Mortar shells?

Making drugs illegal sure has kept people from using drugs, I’m sure more nuclear weapons laws will be just as effective. Besides, there are already so many nuclear weapons in circulation now, any more laws would be pointless.

If the problem is nuclear weapons in schools, let’s arm the teachers with nuclear weapons!

I really think what we have here is a mental health issue.