As you might know, my name is Kris. And I’m a guy. It’s short for Kristoffer. (Actually, if you’re reading this, you most certainly know these things unless you are very unobservant, as 110% of people reading this are either a friend, relative, or both.)
But I just found something out — Kris is a girl’s name.
A big part of my job includes inviting people to speak at conferences. And nobody knows who the hell I am. Here are some recent e-mail replies I’ve gotten (rest assured, I do sign my e-mails with my actual name, “Kris”).
This one is, after 27 years, beyond expected:
Hi Chris,
It looks OK to me.
Nobody spells the name “Kris” with a “K”. So that author is forgiven.
Weirder is this:
Hi Kevin. I submitted . . . that I thought would be widely popular.
He probably just mixed me up with my brother Kevin. Who he’s never met.
Still weirder is this:
Kim:
I would be pleased to present . . . in Denver.
All I can think is that he read “Kris,” thought “girl,” and then just replaced the name with whatever he thought I should be called.
These are from two different authors:
Karen, No problem on the revision.
***
Karen –
Agreed.
I should really take the hint and go by “Karen” from now on.
Finally, here are two replies (in chronological order) from the same author:
Kris,
Please include the following in your upcoming enewsletters . . .
Yes!
Kevin,
Can you confirm you received this and you have what is needed for the next enewsletter?
No!
I’ve thought about this for way longer than I should’ve: She knew I was a “Kris” through e-mail, then we spoke on the phone, she heard (from my manly voice) that I was of the male persuasion, then (who’s heard of a boy named “Kris”?) she changed my name to Kevin.
Obviously.
3 Responses to E-mails driving me to sex-change operation
Karen, I don’t have much to say other than that this is so bloody funny.
And clearly, to stay a man, you should become Kevin Steinman.
Oh, Kris, just be glad Mom didn’t go with on of the wierder names she was considering for you. You could have been Kendrick-eww, or Keagan, Konnor or Kirby- all equally ick. (apologies to any Kendricks, Keagans, Konnors and Kirbys who might be reading this) Of course the truly bizarre names she reserved for her girls.
Come on. You’re screwing with me, right? Nobody is named “Konnor” with a “K”. I mean “Kris” with a “K,” of course. Perfectly natural. But Keagan? There but for the grace of God go I . . .