I hate cooking.  It’s the whole organizational aspect of it–you have to have the green pepper chopped up and ready to go once the garlic has softened, you have to stir-fry it for five minutes (God help you if you skip out to pee and come back a minute late), and when you’re done you have to clean up the mess.  Pass.  For our first few months together my roommate thought I was a druggie because I hardly ate anything–until she discovered I think cooking takes too much work.

So why did I think it would be a good idea to subscribe to an organic farm?

Maybe because I’d only be getting one-sixth of the bounty.  I’m splitting half a summer-long subscription with my roommate and her boyfriend.  Maybe because I ought to eat more vegetables.  That’s why I was excited that we’d be getting everything from arugula to zucchini.  But also, in some abstract way, I think cooking is a good, nurturing, responsible activity, and that I should do more of it.

That didn’t happen.  There’s something about being faced every week with that boombox-size box of grubby wholesomeness that turns me off of food entirely.  It doesn’t matter if it comes filled with beets (which I don’t like) or tomatoes (which I love); I just don’t want to deal with it.  I…kind of let the veggies sit in the fridge until they’re rotten enough to pitch.  I feel guilty about this, but my roommate, who does like to cook, is even having a hard time getting rid of her share.  She started throwing dinner parties just so she can fob off our unwanted food on someone else.

Plus today I tried an ear of corn and it tasted like a baked potato.  I’m never doing this again.

3 Responses to Vegetabular

  1. Kris says:

    Wait, you’re not a druggie?

    I remember first meeting you where you only ate Oreos all day one day, breakfast, noon, and night. Um . . . junkie anyone?

    If the ear of corn tasted like a baked potato with sour cream, chives, cheese, etc., I would eat a lot more ears of corn.

  2. Matt says:

    I dunno. The corn didn’t just taste like a baked potato; it felt like a baked potato. It was like a food biosynthesizer reconstituted it out of pure starch but the “Corn” program was really just half the code from the “Baked Potato” program and couldn’t refine the raw material to completion.

  3. Kris says:

    Ahh . . . a glitch in your Star Trek (TNG, claro!) style food sythesizer. Happens to the best of us.

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