As comments to Kris’s excellent post on Williams Carlos Williams’s psych-out apology, a couple of people mentioned discussions of the literary cafe.
When Kris and I were in college, our friend Jatt Mohnson (that’s not his real name, so don’t try and google him) and some other folk came up with the idea of the literary cafe. Another friend Shlevi Shwilliams was back then an aspring chef, and we thought we should open a restaurant, where, get this, all the names would be literary references! The recent comments on this blog mentioned, for instance, “Williams Carlos Waffles” and “Sound and the Curry.”
It’s me, so you know what’s coming up… Yep, exactly right, a contribution competition! Name a dish, and, if you’d like, append an explanation. My example, stealing one we thought up all those years ago:
Ezra Pound Cake (there’s already a food blog by that name, by the way): A pound cake with ingredients balanced so precisely, you want to call it fascist, a slice of the Ezra, more than just tasting fantastic, evokes the image of a perfect pound cake. Home made and decorated, we make only one cake a month. $25 a slice, reserved for friends only.
26 Responses to Literary Cafe Grand (Re)Opening
The Crepes of Wrath – dry, dusty thin pancakes.
Old Ham and the Peas – taste the defeat.
I haven’t had enough coffee yet to remember the rest. I’ll come back later 🙂
The Bun Also Rises – get your bread on when Passover has passed
Lunch special: Frank ‘n’ Stein – A hot dog composed of choice meats, with ice-floe-cold beer to wash it down
Tom Soyer – more faux-turkey-sandwich fun than you’ve ever had
Dessert special: Three Men in a Float (To Say Nothing of the Dog): 3 scoops of your choice of ice cream, wedged tightly into a root-beer-filled miniature skiff. (Free hot dog comes with.)
Appetizer: David Jalapeño Popperfields – Whether these shall turn out be the heroes of your meal, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, the rest of your order must show.
To accompany the Crepes of Wrath for a Steinbeck trifecta: a hot bowl of Travels With Barley soup, followed by our Eats of Eden apple tart for dessert.
Okay, I will stop.
P.S. The Eats of Eden apple tart can be ordered a la carte–just ask for a Separate Piece.
A Seperate Piece! Oh, it hurts!
I love David Jalapeño Popperfields, and the Frank ‘n’ Stein. Brilliant.
For the drinks column: Tequila Mockingbird – it’s a sin to drink it
While we’re on drinks, you know what you can serve for the last month of summer, beerwise? Lite in August.
Banana Karenina: Banana liqueur, vodka, and Night Train fortified wine.
Winnie the Stew (and Piglet, too): No bother! Every morning around eleven, we make available this dish of bear meat infused with honey, with a side of bacon. Especially recommended for those with wheat allergies, as this is a Bear of Very Little Bran.
I swear to god this is my last one–but I couldn’t resist making a children’s menu:
Mrs. Frisby and the Ratatouille of NIMH
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderbread and Through the Lemongrass (for the rare child who hates whole wheat but loves Thai food)
and, of course,
Make Way for Duckling
Winnie the Stew (and Piglet, Too) is just evil. I love it!
I’ve got another one: The Lord of the Fries (with “Piggy” chili)
Ooooh! Lord of the Fries! and I LOVE the “Piggy” chili detail!
Wow – I remember this. Hmmm. Let’s see –
To begin – Etcetera Salad with eecum.back(dress)ing
Then, Hams Christain Andersen with Louisa May Apricot Glaze OR Margaret Atwood-Smoked Salmon with Maya Tangelo Salsa
For dessert – a Robert Frosty treat, The Rocky Road Not Taken or Elizabeth Barrett Brownies with Christopher Marsh-Marlowe Faustus Fondue
Followed by Middle English Tea served elegantly on a Geoffery Saucer
I got: The Wings, Legs, Breast and Thigh of the Dove
That’s all I got! I’m descriptionless. I saw the movie. It’s a dove. Eat it!
Krystal, you are my hero.
Ha! We’ve had only eight or so years to stew on this. Get it, stew.
From the All you can Eat Menu…
On the Roadkill
Burgers in Rue Morgue sauce
The Rats in the walls
Aesop’s Tables (though I have to admit this is a restaurant name, not original)
As Ewe Like It (lamb, any way you want it prepared)
Ethan Foam (latte drink)
Olive or Twist (Martini)
The Adventures of Huckleberry Gin (another drink, I think I’m better with drinks)
The Invisible Flan (one of those clear gelatin desserts)
Uneasy Honey (sweet condiment that has been found after many years in the back of the cupboard)
Count of Monte Cristo Sandwich — that probably doesn’t count since it already exists….
The Great Gatsburger – Served until dawn every weekend.
Toothpick of Cancer – Skewered crab. Debaucherous!
The Haggis – Stuffed inside a roast John Fowl, this metaphysical masterpiece
will leave you questioning the nature of your dining experience. A favorite of French Lieutenants’ Women everywhere!
Great Expectorations – Freshly-escaped, wedding dress-roasted convict phlegm with iron shavings & cobwebs.
The Roast – Straight out of the can. Garnished with morels and dusted with ash. Apocalyptic!
Nineteen Eighty Smore – A double-thought, tightly controlled serving of a dystopian classic. ($19.80)
Infinite Juice – Bottomless glass of OJ, tomato, or grapefruit. Impossible to resist.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Delicious – but don’t take our word for it!
Catch-22 of the day (market price)
We’ve stewed on it, yeah. The ideas have been simmering, and now are coming to a boil. The puns have percolated. The blog has been steeped in satire.
I chewed on some of my comments for a while.
Can too many books spoil the broth? Never! Good entries by all 🙂
(Truly the salad days of humor?)
a truly cathartic experience. i’ve no one to be cheesy with – uh, oh. I better stop.
Tears rolling down my face. These are AMAZING.