The Unviewed Reviews

Did you guys see Up?

I would say it’s easily one my favorite movies this year, but that’s beside the point. I guess the question I really want to ask is, did you read any of the reviews for Up?

Here’s a few excerpts from Up‘s metacritic page. See if you find anything in common in the language, beyond the fact that most critics seem to adore it.

A captivating odd-couple adventure that becomes funnier and more exciting as it flies along.– Variety

A lovely, thoughtful, and yes, uplifting adventure.– Entertainment Weekly

Rousing, exhilarating entertainment.– Miami Herald

Easily the summer’s, and probably the year’s, most enchanting movie, Up is a buoyant delight.– USA Today

A thoroughly uplifting bit of cinema.– New Orleans Times-Picayune

And here’s one that differs in content, but still fits in:

After a strong takeoff, the film lands on dead grounds.– Film Threat

Do you get it? See, the critics (those clever so-and-sos) are making references to the TITLE of the film in their evaluations. Isn’t that something else?

Ok, so it’s true that this irked me for quite a while. It felt like I wouldn’t even have to have seen the films to be able to predict that these lines would show up in its reviews. Which got me thinking– what else can we assume, without watching the movies themselves, that will be in movie reviews? Which got me thinking more– why don’t we figure that out here, at 12apostrophes?

So let’s play a game. It’s not a contest, exactly, but more like a call for reviews. Of movies you haven’t seen. Feel free to choose whatever film you’d like, though here’s a short list, if you’d like, of upcoming films from this summer:

Year One
Transformers II
Julie and Julia
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Maybe you’d like to include an IMDB plot summary if you think you might need it. In either case, remember to strenghthen your reviews with enough references to the title.